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Relationship terms
On June 28 of 2000, we had a poly discussion on the topic of `Degrees
(or levels) of relationships'. As an opening exercise, we did
a brainstorming session to come up with a list of all the words
and phrases we could think of to describe different kinds and
levels of relationships (deliberately leaving `relationship' a
bit ambiguous, but in a poly context). We wrote them down on
a whiteboard, and I promised to transcribe them right away.
And here they are, only four months later! I'm so proud of
myself!
At the bottom are a few additional terms that people suggested
via email.
- primary
- secondary
- tertiary
- husband
- wife
- um-friend
(`This is Joe, my, um, friend.')
- partner
- life partner
- housemate
- soulmate
- love-of-my-life
- significant other
- POSSLQ
(From a US Census term introduced a census or two ago: `Person
of Opposite Sex Sharing Living Quarters'. Heterocentric, of
course.)
- fuckmate
- fuck buddy
- sex toy
- chew toy
- boy toy
- comet
(somebody who comes really close for a short period of time)
- spouse/spice
- love, in love (not nouns, but oh well)
- `just' friends
- old man
- old lady
- friends
- `friends'
- close friend
- meteor
- true love
- intentional immediate family
- intentional extended family
- sweetie
- honey
- ungetaken
(this is sort of `lover-in-law'; a friend of mine [Jay's]
told me it was an Eskimo word for the lover of one's lover, but
I don't know what specific language it is or how to spell it)
- lovemuffin
- kin
- crush
- girlfriend/boyfriend
- fiancé(e)
- somebody I'm seeing
- coparent
- family
- tribe
- clan
- pack
- betrothed
- main squeeze
- `my people'
- `pal'
- mate
- lover
- VGF
(Very Good Friend)
- intimate friend
- acquaintance
- water-sibling
(from Heinlein, I think from
Stranger in a Strange Land)
- cosominator
(cosominating is `sleeping together', but without a sexual implication)
- paramour
- adopted sibling
- workmate
- chosen family
- vayalim
(This was Sean's term, from an SF novel)
- `Oh no, we're just friends!'
(I don't remember what that one was about)
- dating/date
- buddy
- trick
- pet
- slave
- master
- sub/conquest
- victim
- movie partner
- fling
- relationship
- conference buddy
- TOCOTOX
(Too Complicated to Explain)
- activity partner
- cuddle buddies
- cuddle bunnies
- stalker/stalkee
- capital-R Relationship
- small-r relationship
- energy [illegible]
- Monster
- imaginary friend
As you can see, these aren't terribly consistent as to part of
speech, but it was basically a brainstorming session. See something
missing from the list? Send me mail at
<js+poly@aq.org> and I'll add it.
Here are some additional terms people have suggested:
- compa (kohm-pah): life companion, mate (coined by Lisa P.)
- kine (kee-nay): very loved one, could be a lover, or someone
you might sleep with but don't have sex with, someone who feels
like a sweetheart (coined by Lisa P.)
- love monkey
- friends with benefits
- friends with rights (translated from Spanish)
- seductive friendship
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Last modified 2002.05.01 by
Jay Sekora
<js@aq.org>.
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